I grew up thinking that my father was the most impatient man in the world. This realization formed when I was designated flashlight-holder for his constant home and car repairs. God forbid that I should not be able to get light to bend the time-space continuum and onto the part of the engine block where […]

I guess we all have different nostalgia thresholds for our childhood. My nostalgia threshold is pretty low. I miss swimming through teen years filled with lovely lasses, each of which had something to teach me about women. I miss having a different girlfriend every month. Past that… Nyah. I hated being broke all the time. […]

You never think it’s going to happen to you until it does. It’s something your buddies talk about when it’s just the guys, sitting in a bar, drinking. Here’s the setup: My birthday present from my wife; me and nine reasonably attractive women. My age, but I’d average them out somewhere in the high 7s, […]

I can tell you where I was the evening of August 1st, 1986. Unfortunately. I had gathered every friend I had and dragged them all to the opening night of Howard the Duck. I wasn’t even a fan of the comic. It was George Lucas! What could go wrong? Puh. Lenty. Gawd. I can remember […]

I’m due for a second blog post this week and I’ll be over-the-hills and through-the-woods on the road to Grandmother’s house tomorrow. Long drive south. I assume that we’ll be en route when the Mike Brown fecal matter collides with the oscillating ventilator. We’ve routed our trip so that we aren’t traversing Atlanta, where “empathy […]