Every time I get in a fight with My Beautiful Wife, I send fifty bucks to a consortium of creepy Japanese dudes working on the development of fembots. But really. It isn’t women who will be replaced with technology, it’s men. We’re half way there. All women need is a car that will go 300K […]

My boss is a good guy. We get along well. My only issue with the guy is that he has no concept of context. God’s honest, we had the following conversation, nearly verbatim: BOSS: [walks up to my desk] “So she thinks she’s going to get everything she wants, does she?” ME: [blinks 20 times] […]

When you get to be an old fart like me, you get tuned into your own biometric life cycles. For instance, every January I go on a diet and start exercising. Right at the eight week mark, just when willpower is at a premium and I am the thinnest I have been in the previous […]

My contract with Transatlantic is somewhere in the post between St. Louis and Toronto.  I’m closing out my query statistics for Selfie. Consider it inside baseball that nobody cares about unless you are a wannabe writer. And even then you probably don’t give a rip. It’s Friday. The boss is out today. I’m hammering on […]

Of all the manufactured holidays of capitalism, I reserve the word “loathing” exclusively for St. Valentine’s Day. Man, I hate it. I hate “gotcha” bullshit, whether it’s my boss who waits until Friday afternoon to remind me that I was supposed to turn in a status report Thursday by noon, or whether it’s the relationship […]