On the old blog, Thursday was Hot Chick Thursday: Celebrity crushes. Page Six girls. Photoplays of the flavor-of-the-week in a bikini.

Hot Chick Thursday blogs wrote themselves.

Alas. Half of Selfie is the story of Neal, a young man who is trying to be a better man. He’s trying to move past his obsession with nudie girls and become a “more-evolved caveman.”

Not even I, Captain Hypocrisy, can abide Hot Chick Thursday when I’m pitching a story about the destructive side of pixelated fame. I need a new Thursday theme.  I need something a little less exploitive.

Blog Rule #1: Have something to say.  “Er… Uh… It’s Thursday.” Yeah, thanks Sh-yawn.

Last night the missus and I delved into the new Netflix series, Orange is the New Black. From a less-evolved caveman perspective, I’m delighted that finally seeing Laura Prepon in her altogether is everything I hoped it would be back when That Seventies Show was one of the last sitcoms I could sit through without retching. Given the amount of gratuitous female nudity in Orange is the New Black, it is a bit frustrating that in the first three episodes, there’s only a fleeting glimpse of Laura’s awesome genetics.

Here’s a NSFW peek at Laura’s assets for the pervy and the curious.

On a more-evolved topic: OitNB has the worst theme song-slash-opening title sequence in the seventy five year history of television. It’s not merely disturbing, it’s revolting. The song is awful. The slide carousel of dramatic close-ups of faces of women prisoners is not inviting. I’m still not sure that I buy Taylor Schilling as the lead character of Piper Chapman. I see an empathetic character in the scripting, but Taylor Schilling comes off as buffoonish. I didn’t connect with Walter White right away either, so I’ll give it a few more episodes. I’m ridiculously claustrophobic, so prison movies, trapped-in-a-cave movies, and submarine movies are a sharp fork stuck into the top of my brain. I still have Oz nightmares and I haven’t seen an episode in twelve years. My issues may be keeping me from connecting to the subject matter.

Captain Janeway as a quite-hefty Russian convict? Yowsa. We’re all getting older, I guess. That was a shock. “I know that woman. Where do we know that woman from, honey?”

Your thoughts? Orange is the New Black? Worst/Least-inviting opening title sequence for a television show? Weigh in.