I shall not endeavor to convince you that I am not a fan of Jonathan Franzen. I am. I am.
If, by some election of a contained mind, you have read Jonathan Franzen and are not enamored of his particular style: That’s cool. We can still be friends.
Franzen is known for a coupla quirky things.
As a result, you get characters so rich that you have to actively remember that you don’t actually know them as real people. I have a timer that goes off in my head for contacting old friends.
“Gosh, haven’t talked to Christine in a while. Better dial her up and see what’s shaking.”
“Geez, are Lisa and Kevin ever going to get together with me and my wife for a dinner date? Better email.”
“Hmmm. I wonder how Denise’s new gig as a chef at that restaurant in Philly is– Oh wait. Denise is fictional. Never mind.”
And that. kiddies, is why JF is rich as Rockefeller from a mere two opus novels. (He’s written others, but two mainstream category killers.)
Franzen’s style is so distinctive that he’s an excellent perennial for the writer game; WHAT IF _(author name)__ WROTE __(newspaper column or genre) __ .
Q: What if Vonnegut wrote Obituaries?
A: Every entry would be four words long: “And so it goes.”
Q: What if Salinger wrote OpEds?
A: Every third word would be emphasized with uber-condescending italics.
Q: What if Franzen wrote for the ESPN website?
A: The first twenty-seven column inches would be the backstory of the security guard at the press gate entrance to the stadium.
I’ll take Things Writers Do In Bars for $1200, Alex.
Way back when, when I did my little blog screed on smut novels, I was tumbling the genesis of my current WiP, Where it All Went Wrong. My WiP seeks to answer a question that nobody has asked. “What if Franzen had written a Greenleaf Classics jerk novel, circa 1970?” That’s what I’ve been wasting my time on for the last four months.
If you run into Franzy at a reading do NOT ask him any of the following four cliché writerly questions. Asking one of the following questions is a sure way to move Franzy from your list of Literary Heroes to your list of Dicks I Have Met:
Those four warnings won’t help you be a better writer. Here are Franzy’s thoughts on that, lifted from his Wikipedia:
Each of those could be it’s own blog post. Provocative thoughts. Interesting stuff.
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