“There is only one known cure for a bully. And that’s a bigger bully. You can wait for a bigger bully to come along, or you can become the bigger bully.”
-Dad McDonald, 1983

My buddy Flynn became a teacher. High school Science and History. This is a good thing. This is a good thing because Flynn was born to teach, and Flynn couldn’t write a coherent sentence with fewer than three misspellings if you put a gun to his head. Good that he’s teaching and even better that it’s not English.

Flynn also fucked around after graduating college, doing everything possible to avoid actually standing in front of a class of students and talking. He tried to become a professional college dorm administrator. He went in the Peace Corps for several years. Eventually he got his feces gathered in a coherent and marketable package. This “getting it together” involved moving out-of-state and immersing in a Federal program to recruit lapsed teachers into super problematic schools.

Flynn does not teach at Welton Academy.  More like James A. Garfield High.

Flynn has had a couple of close calls with professional and personal disaster as a result of knocking student heads together. Literally. Flynn refuses to take shit from kids who seem to have no shortage of shit to share.

“Maybe you should cool it and stop getting physical with the kids before you get fired or end up in jail,” said Julian VonJames.

“Well you see,” Flynn explained, making an inverted L out of his left hand and holding it chin high, “I’m laid back. I’m like right here, see? And then the kids test me by taking us here.” At this point Flynn makes a mirror image with the fingers on his right hand, positioned slightly above his left.

“Because they expect me to escalate my intensity to here,” Flynn continues inching his left “me” hand above his right “kids” hand. “But instead I respond up here, see.” Flynn’s “me” left hand shoots above his head. “And then I get a lot less of this shit.” Flynn waggles the much lower right “kid” hand.

Escalation Vs. Parity. Disproportionate response Vs. Proportionate response. How important is it to understand the merits and hazards on both sides of that “Vs.” balance beam? In so many ways, our culture has lost its way because of a refusal to even endeavor to acknowledge that there is a difference between escalation and parity; disproportionate and proportionate. Each has their place, but first we must teach our kids the difference.

[/Culture Rant Lecture]

Everything I learned about creating fictional villains, I learned from Deadwood.

Here is the conflict from Deadwood in a nutshell:

• Naïve new Sherriff (Seth Bullock) shows up in lawless Deadwood, South Dakota, 1874.
• The town is “owned” by a ruthless villain and entrepreneur (Al Swearengen).
• Bullock quickly realizes that he’s outmatched by both Swearengen, and Swearengen’s criminal empire.
• Bullock does not confront Swearengen right away, much to the viewers’ disappointment.
• Bullock chips away at the criminal element of Deadwood, honing his Lawman skills (as well as his political skills) and becoming more formidable.
• Bullock becomes bad ass.
• The collision of Bullock and Swearengen becomes inevitable. It cannot wait another episode.
• Evil businessman George Hurst shows up in Deadwood and realizes it would be a great town to take over.
• Viewers laugh. Viewers look at their collective watches and say, “This isn’t going to last long. Bullock is going to rip Hurst’s head off and shit down his neck, assuming Swearengen doesn’t get to him first.”
• George Hurst (and his “criminal machine”) rolls over both Bullock and Swearengen with disquieting ease. George Hurst turns out to be the most bad ass of the bad ass. [“Because they expect me to escalate my intensity to here. But instead I respond up here, see.”]
• Bullock and Swearengen realize that the first order of business is to team up to take down Hurst. After that they can duke it out for control of Deadwood.
• HBO cancels the series and we never know what happens.

I’ve fallen in love with that model of conflict.  Here’s a bad ass villain. No wait. The bad ass villain gets steamrolled by an even bigger villain. Gosh, the hero has to step it up even more? Really?

You were looking for the hero to get here. [conclusion of Act Two]

But the hero actually had to get here. [conclusion of Act Three]

We were looking for Will Graham to take down the formidable Tooth Fairy. But as it turns out, his real battle was with Hannibal Lecter.

Same for Starling and Buffalo Bill and Lecter.

We were looking for Walter White to stay a step ahead of ASAC Hank Schrader, but instead he needed to conquer the Salamanca Cartel. Nope, Gus Fring and Mike Erhmentraut turn out to be the bigger threat. Nope, whodathunk it, the White Supremacists descend into the power vacuum at the very end and turn out to be the biggest threat of all.

Hey, for li’l ol’ writer Shawn, it’s merely a great strategy to keep moving through the Great Swampy Middle. Taking down Villain A is the end of Act II and taking down Villain K is the end of the book.

Act II is what kills ya. Completing Act II is why most people who want to write a novel never finish it.

Bully. Bigger bully. Villain. Bigger villain.

You’re welcome.