I can tell you where I was the evening of August 1^st, 1986. Unfortunately.

I had gathered every friend I had and dragged them all to the opening night of Howard the Duck. I wasn’t even a fan of the comic. It was George Lucas! What could go wrong?

Puh. Lenty.

Gawd. I can remember walking back up the aisle after the movie was over, my cheeks burning with shame as I tried not to make eye contact with eight other kids I’d talked into spending two hours of minimum wage income on that steaming pile of monkey shit.

Apparently my lesson in shame was short lived. September 22^nd, 1995; I horse-collared my posse of Carlos Montoya and Julian VonJames into opening night of Showgirls. Joe Esterhaus script! The possibility of seeing Gina Gershon nekkid! What could go wrong?

Puh. Lenty.

The sands of time have weathered Showgirls into a cult classic. I’m still not buying that narrative. It’s still a raw nerve against my cinematic hair shirt of shame.

Sure, I’ve paid money for lots of bad movies over the years. But those two stand out in memory because I “spoke for them” and forced friends to watch suffer through them along with me. You don’t think about the bar fights you lost when you were alone. You dwell on the ones where your buddies witnessed you taking an ass whuppin.

We all aspire to be Salinger’s Judger of Horses. Being jazzed into opening night seats for From Justin to Kelly 4: Turdblossom Tango doesn’t help a brothah’s credibility.

As proprietor of The Scotsman Theater, I’m debating hosting an ongoing movie showcase of “The Second Look Film Festival” aka  ‘bad’ movies that I will defend.

Yeah, I know that popular culture has already coined the term “Good Bad Movies.” That’s not what I mean. My film festival won’t be “bad movies you’ll enjoy with enough free alcohol.” My film festival will be “movies critics loathed that Shawn will defend as having redeeming value.”

Hey, what’s an end-of-the-year blog without a bunch of lists, right?

Consider this a work in progress. Chime in. What films would you defend despite their being panned critically? Gimme some ideas.

Here’s what I have so far:

Country Strong (2011)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 22%  (Audience Score: 53%)

Replace Gwyneth Paltrow with any actress… ANY actress, and the tomato meter for this flick doubles instantly. This movie dropped at the zenith nadir of the backlash against Gwenny. Hey, I’m no fan either. But you can’t let a white-hot loathing for the Princess of Pretention to blind you to some truly breakout performances from Garrett Hedlund and Leighton Meester in some very difficult roles.

Sucker Punch (2011)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 23% (Audience Score: 47%)

Golly. There’s so much WTF at play in this mishmashed flint tinder for a video game that never happened. The fantasy battle sequences are amazing. The backstory is a teeth-grinding, eye-twitching act of cinematic sadism that evokes a six-year-old jamming his finger into the same piano key over and over and over until an adult finally slams the lid down over the keys.

Wasswiddat? What’s with Jon Hamm’s incongruous cameo at the end?

Warner Brothers lopped 17 minutes off the film before release, including most of Hamm’s plot line. That’s what happened.

I predicted that Sucker Punch would become the new Showgirls. Add that to the list of things that I have been wrong about. Still. There’s some there there, if you can allow yourself to get off on the right foot with Sucker Punch.  (Or maybe just “get off,” as it were.)

Constantine (2005)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 46% (Audience Score: 72%)

This attempt to launch the DC Comics property Hellblazer into a franchise went nowhere. I’m not sure what more one could have asked for from either Keanu, the script, or first rate SFX. I suspect that Keanu was still in the critics Time Out corner for the Matrix sequel misfires.

The Lake House (2006)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 35% (Audience Score: 73%)

Speaking of Keanu… What hard-hearted cynical scribe could take a shit on this sweet little fantasy? Really? There’s not a damn thing wrong with this movie.

Meet Bill (2008)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 21% (Audience Score: 44%)

Yeah, I know. I’m going to get a lot of groans from anybody who suffered through a couple minutes of this movie on cable or Netflix.  I will say the reinforcement of the popular media theme that men are perpetual children irked me. But, this is another of what I call a “charm offensive” movie. If you like Aaron Eckhart, you’re going to be a lot more forgiving of Meet Bill than the rest of humanity. I was and I am.

Runners Up: The Proposal (2009), The Box (2009), The Butterfly Effect (2004), and The Craft (1996).

Okay. Your turn. Weigh in. Debate me on my horrible choices. Remind me of some great movies that got piss-poor reviews. What movies are worthy of the “Second Look Film Festival?”